Success formula is working

Hi my beautiful amigos,

A few posts ago I wrote the secret to success and a month ago I wrote my strategy to get to my goal. I still had lots of anxiety and doubt about my strategy, but I kept going. Simply because I had no other option.

Today I can safely say that I see glimpses of victory in the strategy I have chosen. By all means never fall astray and just simply give up on your strategy, just because someone else is succeeding with a different strategy. I have tried many ways, but my true essence lies in contributing and delivering content driven films. is my destiny to create films and act in it.

I won an award for the message of my film and received a contract from a distributor to showcase it on a big online platform. I don’t want to reveal the name yet, until it is officially announced. But I will share it with you all!

The contract and the award didn’t magically fall into my lap. I worked for it, I went after it, I e-mailed the distributor many times with new articles regarding my film, new videos, really showing the company that my film can reach a wide audience. And at last the company was convinced.

Trust me, it is not talent or luck, everytime I succeeded in something, it’s because I went after it. The content doesn’t have to be perfect, as long as I am driven and work with humanity, kindness and integrity, I’m fine.

BTW, I really at some point let go of the result, I was willing to put my shortfilm on my own Youtube Channel. I can only do my best and let go.

So I’ll keep you updated, on my next post I’ll specifically right the elements of the success formula, that worked and is working for me ;)

Much love

Being Grateful

Palm Springs Good Evening my beautiful friends, for a while I was competing again, but I have recomposed myself. I took this picture when I was in Palm Springs, looking at this picture, it gives me a lot of peace. There is more to this world. My focus is on content driven films, creating characters where anybody can relate to. What I yearn for is indeed rear, but I have to follow my bliss, my purpose.

When I compare, I forget the beautiful blessings in my life and focus on other ones ‘success’. So let me focus on my blessings, things to be grateful for:

  • I have a loving mom and dad, they are my biggest support
  • I have a loving sister, who always have my back
  • I have a fit body and I am healthy
  • I can eat delicious food and have a sweet, cut apartment
  • I came from Europe to Hollywood, thus I live in the Entertainment capital of the world
  • At a very young age I knew what I wanted, which gives me drive and purpose
  • I learn everyday
  • I am able to create everyday
  • I got to travel all over the world at a young age and it keeps me grounded and open minded
  • I can speak 5 languages, woohoo!
  • I can sleep peacefully

Also, since 2 days, I am taking 5 minutes of time to meditate and list a couple of things of what I am grateful for. It is food for thoughts and it helps! Because problems are there, but there is always a solution for it. I do it my way. Slowly, but surely.

Please share your list of what you’re grateful for and leave a comment on this post. Would love to read it!

Much love

The secret to Success

Good Morning my beautiful friends,

Okay, so after trial and errors, I am one step closer. If I missed 99 times, than I know 99 ways of what not to do. Which only increases my success rate. Now I am aware of it. It’s basic probability. If someone hits the ball right, it means that I also had a chance of hitting the ball right.

Now, the secret lies not in the fact that when I hit, it was in my ‘destiny’. No, when I hit the ball right, it means that I’ve trained a lot, I have already tried a lot and I am still very enthusiastic every time I hit it. I made my own destiny. Because if I just hit, without any preparation, the chances of hitting the ball right will be very low. Still there is a chance, but extremely low and I am not going to bet on it, like a wild beast.

I got invited for a Major Commercial and have to do the usual assignments. With trial and errors and observing I’ve learned that after I’ve prepared for the look, exercised, warmed myself up, I have to let go. I do it by having perspective in life, that whether I will get it or not, I still will enjoy life with my sister and we will watch a nice movie. Now in that way, I made it less stressful, calmed my mind and I can be free.It’s not in answering the questions right, it’s lifting the words up, which I can only do if something inside of me is energizing me. I’ve had a nice weekend, enjoyed my time with my sister, so that energy was made and transmitted. Regardless of what I say or not, it is energy, which can be positive by having fun, exercising, letting go, laughing, playing, dancing, listening to music etc. Numerous of things ;)

But there is also one element, which I realized, that there is a time for everything. Now the fact that I will get it or not, has now not to do anymore with talent, it only has to do with being consistent and persistent. If I still go to the auditions, making films, submitting to film festivals, I learn from it and do it better each time, than I will hit the ball right. My chances are now higher.

Now that I realize it, I will stay on deck, with everything. I keep going, until I have it, because it is possible. I always think if someone got it ‘faster’ than me, achieved the things that I wanted to achieve, I thought I stand no chance. I might as well give up. But let me tell you something my friend, the fact that someone gets something, doesn’t mean that I have to have the same thing, or I will get the same thing. I might get something better, I just have to believe that. The past have shown me that everytime someone got it ‘faster’, I started panicking, but in the end I might have been the last one who finally achieved it, but my performance was 10 times better or I couldn’t even compare it. I hit the home run.

Thus, I can’t be jealous, or feel anxious. I have to keep going, because it’s basic probability. Don’t talk about the results, forget about it, don’t talk about the process, watch positive videos. I used to watch funny video’s, funny interviews, because at the end, that’s what I want, to be happy from the inside, which will shine through from the outside.

Much love

I am starting over, again

Good Morning Everyone,

This weekend was with a lot of joy, I took 2 days off from work and relaxed with my sister. Until I discovered something and this was going on internally:

“I always wanted quality in life, but now everything what I’ve achieved so far is nothing. A person, relative, has copied everything what I did and is now getting success. With things that is not even with real content and still that person achieved it. My dream, everything what I’ve worked for so long, is passing by right in front of my eyes to a person, who only wanted to be my friend to get ahead. Now that the person got everything, I am not in the picture. I am ashamed of myself of being in Hollywood and not accomplishing that what I wanted and other person ran away with it.”

I didn’t want to be me, I wanted to be that person, switch with that person’s life. I wasted my evening and this day, talking and frustrating about the fact, that I am have gotten major opportunities, but not results and the other person did. I wanted to quit the business, without even knowing what the person ‘achieved’.

Unfortunately, this is bound to happen, I was just a trigger and that person ran away with it. It hurts, however I cannot deny and forget my blessings. I was ruining myself, depleting my energy that I am worthless. But I’ve got my parents and my sister, a great support system. I can’t fight with things which are not in my control. But I can take actions which are under my control.

I ‘quickly’ moved myself up. If I look closely I am still in my early 20’s, am learning now. I have to put my ego aside and completely start again. Great content always wins in the end. Always. I am going for something which is rare, which is not established yet. I cannot lie to myself and others, I cannot, I tried to be someone else and wanted to give up on life.

It is just making me stronger, but I cannot be in war and forget to enjoy. No, I will enjoy even more and count my blessings even more. If someone wants my life, tries to get ahead of me, copies everything and gets even more success, I have to accept it or else I will ruin myself. I cried, called my parents, argued, felt hopeless, but I went to CPK and got chocolate souffle with my sister. I started from scratch, every challenge so far, every heartbreak, every failure, is a learning lesson and gets me one step closer to my destination.

I am surrendering, they can take what they want to take, but no one can take away my destiny. Only God knows what will happen, What will happen, will happen. The only thing I have right now, to stay alive and keep going in this life, to have blinded trust. I have to, I have no other choice.

If I got the dream that I will succeed, why am I failing over and over again?

I had a dream, which I never shared to anyone, I worked for it and the unexpected happened. I acted since I was 6 years old. At the age of 13, I stopped, since I felt that it wasn’t going for me, I was not getting to a higher level.

I felt misplaced and put focus into school, not in acting. However, during my high school I went to London, auditioned for several Acting schools, but was not accepted.

I got my degree, went to University and after completing one year, I went back into acting full time, since I felt that it was my calling.

I auditioned for all the Acting Academy’s in my country, and I wasn’t accepted, not one of them said yes.

So, here I was with a gap in my year, after University, I was at home and thought to myself, if nobody wants to learn me, I guess I have to teach Acting myself. I did and got a great role after that. I applied for for an Acting school in Los Angeles, and I got accepted. Going to America was a dream, never a plan, until it was finalized, going to America became a fact.

Still with anxiety I packed my bags and stepped into the plane. I had nothing to lose, but I also had no idea what would happen next.

I succeeded and booked lead roles one after the other, I was voted the best. 2 years of success in Acting and then ready to get my work permit.

A whole year was devoted for getting the work permit, after a lot of frustrating, crying, screaming, working very hard, stress, arguing, losing myself, trying to get myself together, I couldn’t get it…..I failed

This was it, it was the end. But out of experience, it’s hard for me just to give up. So after a year, I tried again. This time, less stress, not over working, enjoying life as well, I got it.

Yes, I could work as an actress, I’ve achieved it, yes! God bless America!

However, for 6 months, I didn’t get any audition, my headshots were being rejected, I changed my headshots and focused on it for 2 years. Some liked it, some hated it. Whatever it was, I failed.

Then one day, my sister had an audition for a major network and I went with her. Suddenly, I saw someone with a braid. I thought let me try that. AFTER 2 years of trying different looks, the one with the braid is getting me auditions so far.

Then getting auditions, failing again and again and again. I stopped focusing on it and started focusing on my production company.

Major Network was interested in my film. Great, I got an audition again, callback, on available, success.

After a week, I didn’t hear anything from them. I didn’t get the bookings, I failed.

Today, major audition, again Failed.

Am I failing, or am I one step closer to success?

For now I can say, I will stop focusing on it today and tomorrow. I don’t care anymore. I need a break.

Now I understand

I am sorry, but now I understand. Today several people came up to me and were worried if we would make it from one show to the other. And that became the center of attention. It’s just a side job, let’s keep it as a side job. I have other things on my mind, tasks which I haven’t done yet. I mean at least not as much as I should.

-Put products on craigslist

-find a young actor for my mini movie

-get a distributor for my short film

-get more articles/ press

Those are the tasks for this week.

It’s not a question of whether I will make it or not. It’s about doing and trusting, that it will happen.

Because if it is in my destiny, I just have to take the steps into the right direction, do my best and God will do the rest. Simple. It’s not make believe, I trust, because I have seen his magic. ;)

Unstoppable

I tried the other way for 6 months, I tried to go the other way for 5 years mentally, internally, but now I’m back to my way, my way. Now I will go all the way, one direction and you cannot stop me. I will get there, better than I used to be, harder and faster. I’ve lost myself and regained myself again, I have become unstoppable for the great or good. Now it’s MY time, my concept, my vision, my mission.

It’s a sacrifice and risk that I am willing to take. I have read and heard many stories about choosing for ‘financial’ security and what it does to you. That’s why at the age of 19, I decided to completely focus and work for my ambition, which lies in creating, arts and entertainment. I received a lot of criticism, but I persevered and succeeded.

Now I am pursuing my dream full time, enjoying every moment. Yes, sometimes the ‘financial security’ gets to me. But when I read stories from other people, I get hope and feel proud of myself that I thankfully took this risk. Because the ones who didn’t take a risk and went for safety, became dead inside at an older age. I am happy that those people shared their story, because their regrets have taught me a lot about life and me take these daring choices.

I would love to hear more stories which is about going for safety and financial security, not taking any risks. Other people’s mistakes, can be a learning tool for me and others. So thank God for those people. Because now I have become unstoppable, since I know there is nothing to lose.

Remember:

Just take a step, you don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the step.

Inner Peace

I used to think when I got you, I would have inner peace. When I got you, I soon realised that life still goes on, it still has challenges.

When you were in my life, I could surrender in your arms, forget about problems, no stress, for the moment I was with you. It was just a moment.

I want inner peace. When I had financial security, I didn’t have it, when I got in love, I was afraid of losing it. I WANT YOU, to safe me. I want ahero in my life. I want love and settle down, I don’t care anymore, I want to be with you…..

I’m giving in.

For the love of chocolate

Hi dear chocolates,

I just realised something very crucial; there are certain things in this life, which are not in my control. I was worrying a lot, until a friend came to visit us and he’s living his life. Eventhough unfortunately his mother passed away, he still has perseverance. He still keeps going in life and is enjoying his life. I mean why worry, when God is all I have, than God is all I need.

Today I bought a chocolate bar, which was delicious.

It’s Sunday, April 12th. STOP worrying, live my life. I don’t feel like working today. I did my groceries, I did the laundry, I ate my dinner and chocolate, helped a friend. Now what? Don’t feel like it, don'”t have the energy for it. I wasted my energy by talking too much, dreaming too big, but didn’t really achieve anything today. I ehouldn’t think about the result, nor dream about it. Because the one who doesn’t care always gets it, the one who cares too much loses.

So,  I don’t care, we’ll see what happens. I have to scheduele hiking. I love hiking, chocolate and love, love for life its self!!

We’ll see what happens, let it go and have an awesome evening!

What is my next step?

Good Evening my beautiful flowers,

Sometimes I lose sight of what I want to achieve. Yes, beautiful articles are published about my short film, but I am still working to get a distributor for my short film. It’s a very short film, 5 minutes, but it has a beautiful message and the people who have seen it so far apart from one critic, have liked it so far.

I am on a mission, which is yet to be achieved. These articles are helping me…are they? Will it work? Will I get to my goal? Can I do this? I am on a very tight budget, it’s an insecure future, but God has showed me security for 3 years, ever since I am in Los Angeles. We planned for 6 months and stayed for more. How? I did my work, the rest was up to my destiny and God.

Yes, this is destiny, but sometimes I cannot see how I will achieve it, how can I get there. What is my next step? What will it be. Life is beautiful, I live in the entertainment capital of the world. I am grateful and fortunate to be here. God put me in the right place. This is the place to be. This is my city, I love this city, I love the working mentality, that’s who I am. I love it. I love it very much. I never thought that I would be here. I honestly have nothing to loose. I came with nothing, I can only gain.

But what will be my next step? I am one (tiny) step closer to my vision of women empowerment in films. One tiny step. I’ve got a headache of worrying, how I can achieve all of these things and pay rent and my groceries. It’s a day by day process.

I’ll let it go. I’m gonna eat pasta, which my sister has made. Everything what I’ve achieved so far and what I have been through, has made me the person of who I am today. It has shaped me. I cannot go back, because I have changed as a person, as an individual. Let’s see what I will do, for now I would like to say Thank You God, God bless.