Hi luxurious birds,

It’s Saturday, third of October and I’m back in Los Angeles. Being in Las Vegas for a week, at a resort called Green valley Ranch resort, has recharged my body, my mind and my soul. I am functioning on another level and I absolutely don’t want to go back to the previous level. The level of worry, ‘struggling’, all of that is gone. I like being composed and doing my work, but not ‘showing’ that I’m working. Just doing my thing and enjoying life.

It was absolutely amazing, the feast buffet, eating different kind of food, swimming at a beautiful resort with an amazing view. Working towards this, was all worth it. I felt sad going back, but in 5 months I will visit Las Vegas again and go to the same resort. It has become part of my home, Las Vegas. I really enjoyed my time there. Once I experience the best, I don’t want to settle for less. Being there, experiencing silence, tranquil, what I was used to in Europe, felt great. It felt like home to me.

I would love to celebrate my sister’s birthday there as well. My birthday was amazing, very happy about that. Yes, I appreciate the fact that I live in Los Angeles, this is the place where I earn money. But to recharge myself, states like Las Vegas, Hawaii are the best places to be.

This is a new perspective, a new level of functioning, a new mentality, a stronger one, powerful, this is just time being and I will be back again, I will work to experience this recharge again. For sure.

Thank you so much God for this beautiful gift, I got this from you, thank you. The only thing I can do is contribute, I know what I need to do. I’m following your path and your path only. It has shown me unbelievable things. I trust you, thank you for your love.

God bless, love you all.

Ps: Yes, and you are still in my heart, I love you always.


I celebrated my birthday again at Wynn Las vegas restaurant, lake side view. It was very beautiful. Very happy about that. I did it again, together with my sister. Last year I celebrated with my parents. They were here with us. Now I celebrated with my sister. She was also present and I can safely say that I found myself. 90%. This is our ‘new year’. We both feel complete, so we don’t ‘miss’ anything. I’m very blessed that I have a sister. We share the same interests, same things, we are at the same level, we argue, but we both make an effort to understand each other. We walked from Mandalay bay to wynn resort, took the tram. That was so cool, what an adventure. Now I’m sitting at the pool, relaxing, enjoying the view.

Las Vegas baby

It is sept 29th, 2015. I’m at Green Valley Ranch Resort, Las Vegas, for a week, celebrating my birthday. What a beautiful resort, all as a gift from God. My dream has come true. A year ago I celebrated with my family; parents and sister, at wynn a gift from my parents and now I’m here with my sister. A gift from God. 
I flew with Southwest airlines yesterday. It was beautiful, absolutely amazing. I haven’t flown in 3.5 years and after these couple of years flying to a destination for a holiday was a beautiful, luxurious feeling. 
Now I’m lying on my bed in my hotel room with a pool and vegas strip view. Very beautiful. It’s 2.46pm. I haven’t checked my mail, messages, just completely away from work. This is a treat and I am indulging this moment. Taking it easy. I trust you God. This was destiny and is destiny. I let go of that one thing and I got everything. 

Working towards my goal, taking huge risks, still going on while facing rejections, it all paid off. Going to the unknown is the best, I got more and I am receiving so much love, thank you God. Thank you so much. I love this lifestyle, I was born with it because of my parents then went abroad to stand on my own feet, achieving this by myself and slowly but surely I am accomplishing my goal. This is happiness, this is it. I love it. Less talking, more doing and writing my experiences down. The less I interact the better I focus on my goal and the more I do. Very blessed. 

10years ago I was working towards this goal, at the time, getting my degree was the most important thing. I was in Dubai, had the same things I have now, because i had everything and I didn’t work for it, I couldn’t appreciate it. Everything was handed to me and I just thought that I could enjoy my life, at least allow to enjoy it, once I had this, or that. 
Now I realize in life, everything I get whether I worked for it or not, I am grateful that I received it and I’m
Blessed, so I can give something back to the community. Now I understand, the only way to show my appreciation is to be kind and give something back to this society. I love you all very much, thank you so much. Thank you.

My relationship with my mother

Good Morning Early Birds!

It’s 26th of September, 2015. I had a conversation with my mother. I feel and know that I am slowly detaching myself from my mother. She reminds me of my old self, I have overcome that. Los Angeles has become my home and I am making a life here. Having said that, I felt selfish to just not call, and live my life. But for two years now, I am trying and we always end up in an argument. She is tough. If I want to compliment her, it will be too much complimenting, she told me not to do that. And when she wants constructive feedback, she cannot handle it.

I can’t do this, I am giving up on this battle. It ALWAYS ends up in an argument, when I call. She is a good mother, but when she does thinks she automatically expects things. I always have to cry, when I call her. Her energy pulls those emotions out of me. I don’t want to deal with that anymore. It hurts. She is mean and all the things that she suffered from, she drags that energy over to me, if I ‘God forbid’ say something wrong, I’m being scrutinized.

My dad is not perfect either and he has even made mistakes which are worse. But somehow I get love. I can get love, because my dad wants to give love and has no grudge. My mom blocked it, so she cannot be nice.

But I am taking full responsibility, I am a better me, I am balanced. And I don’t want to get out of balance anymore. What my mom did, and the choices she made, I learn from it and I am not going to make those same mistakes.

The problems she had with my dad, that is between them, my relationship with my dad will not change. I am not suddenly going to ‘pick sides’. No I’m sorry.

I am balanced when I don’t talk about my feelings or career with my mom. Everything is great. And if it’s not I will fake it. That’s how I became successful in the first place and didn’t lose my mind. I don’t care anymore what you think of me, I am a valuable human being and I respect myself, I am not going to lose myself, because you have lost yourself. I take full responsibility of my own actions, I let go of that one person, a year ago, faced myself, faced loneliness and empowered myself again, It didn’t kill me, It made me stronger. Not it’s your time to do it mom. I can’t help you with that. I have my own life here, I can now only help you financially, but I cannot get rid of that feeling that your facing. That is something that you need to work on. I did that as well when you decided to not financially support me anymore, I took responsibility.

It’s Saturday, next week is my birthday. For the first time in 25 years I’ll be flying by myself, with my sister, without you or dad. You were here last time, and now this is a new chapter of my life.

I cannot change people, that is impossible, but I can change my action. I will live the best life, with or without you. I am not going to tell my struggles anymore to you, all those issue I had with you, I have to let that go. I don’t like you, you remind me of who I was, that needy person, trying to please everyone, neglecting the ones who loves you truly, NO! Absolutely not, that’s why I was running away from you all the time. And praise the lord I am here, I thank God for sending me here. I have a bigger mission in life, then going into ‘feelings’ ‘ you did this to me etc.’ it doesn’t serve anyone. Who cares, I can improve myself and have an impact on this earth, by doing the things I love.

I will definitely make my second production, absolutely I will. It is done. No matter what, it will be. All this energy, I have to put positivity in the universe. Thank you for everything. Life is good, thank you. I refuse to go after people, that is impossible. But everything else is possible. EVERYTHING ELSE IS POSSIBLE.. And I’ll go with that. So I will only call you mom about the good stuff, nothing else, Everything is well. That’s it.

Thank you for this life. Thank you, I will go on a holiday, taking time off, going to Las Vegas! Woohoo!

Why I love to exercise

Hi sweeties,

I just came from Core Power Yoga, which was a free class by the way ;) I immediately hopped to the shower and for the first time, after 8.30pm, I didn’t touch my phone. I was finally present and did more. I take more care of my body. I cooked some veggies and ate it. Before that I already had salmon from Whole foods, which was delicious.

Initially I didn’t want to go, as usual, but I am not giving into feelings. I went anyway. I’m glad I did. I’ve been multi tasking a lot, a lot in my head, so it’s is so nice, to let my body go. To stretch and work on my muscles, my core. My skin becomes better. Because of a sudden change of ingredients in a foundation, my skin broke out. But if I exercise a lot, all the toxic comes out of my body. Very grateful that my apartment building is next to the building where they have Power Yoga, yeah!

I love exercising, it frees my body, a lot of nice people, great energy. I’m very grateful. I feel that I am more calm, especially when I am not on my phone now. I would like to implement this more often. After 8.30pm, I will not be on my phone, so I have a nice balance.

Exercising, keeps me fit and beautiful from the inside out. Like I said in my previous posts, ever since I took the time, to actually meditate, or do yoga, ‘me’ time, my life changed. I became more productive.

My eyes wants to close, I am sleepy. Stay healthy. Health is wealth.

Goodnight! xxx

What is my intention?

Good Morning,

It is 23th of September 2015, Wednesday. I have to go to sephora now, for changing the core of the foundation. Some new concept in the brand, which is not working out. Oehh, the opportunities and presents that I have been getting this year is amazing. The dream I received 3 weeks ago, is slowly manifesting itself. Wow.

My intention is be present and enjoy life with my family. To balance life, make a home and invite my parents and grandma into my home. That is my intention, to live life and balance it. Loving it and accepting it.

Okay I have to go, I’ll talk more later, cheers!

The power of Gratitude

Good Evening my brownies,

Yesterday I did Hot Power Yoga, it was heavy, but I am happy I did it. It gives me a lot of energy. The past week has been amazing. But honestly every day can be amazing, it’s all in my mind and the actions. Action of gratitude.

Even though I don’t get certain things, I still find some gratitude or at least I train myself to be grateful for what I have. So my happiness is not determined on the current circumstance. I do my best, take the steps and let it go. I make sure I clean my house, take care of my health. Yes, I should sleep more, but sometimes I just love to work and then sleep out.

Today I will make an attempt to sleep early and wake up at 5am. I am grateful for everything and I am receiving more and more. It really is about being kind to yourself, to your loved ones and be grateful for what I have. Taking the steps towards my goal and then let it go and enjoy life. That’s where I received more and more from the universe.

When I stopped complaining, stopped chasing, stopped making excuses and took responsibility for my own actions, that’s where I turned things around. I see things as the glass is half full in stead of empty. I still have a half glass full. When I started to look life like that, everything in my life, all the joy, luck, money, good things multiplied.

That is the power of Gratitude. When I looked around me, heard a lot of people around me complaining and the rich people always were being grateful, that’s where it clicked. Healthy, wealthy people always talk, walk, act grateful. I still do the work, and I am grateful everyday for what I’ve gotten. That’s also how I stay present ;)

Have a good night sleep, sweet dreams. Big hug

I already had you

I’m standing at the same rooftop, luxurious apartment. I had you, myself 3 years ago, and I was chasing after something which was impossible and furthers away from myself. Now I’m at the same rooftop, so much has changed. I am fortunate for these choices, for what life has given me. For all the lessons. Now I know I have everything. I trust, that trust is important. It is so beautiful out here. I just didn’t recognize it. But when I lose it, then I appreciate it. I will never do this to myself again. Slowly I am gaining what was meant for me. I take the steps and do my best. As long as I take the steps, I should be fine.

I can’t believe that I all had it, everything, never had to deal with financial pressure. But I’m happy I faced so many challenges. otherwise I would never learn how blessed I am. Family is important. Letting go and accepting, gratitude is the key. God will give what is best for me. He always did and always will. It’s still mine. It really is. I all have it and gaining even more. Thank you God for everything, thank you so much!

I had this and I was chasing for something else. No chasing anymore. Thank you so much for everything. I truly appreciate it. What I have is fantastic. Slowly gaining and finding myself, this was essential. Happy to have my family. Thank you! Thank you for my loving parents. I’ve got everything what I wished for, what’s best for me. Yes!

Blessed that I’m in LA

I’m so blessed that I am in Los Angeles. I just watched some Youtube video’s of the city where I came from. I mean nothing has changed, it’s the same city. Los Angeles, keeps moving, keeps growing. The city that I have been born and raised, is still the same. Nothing wrong with that, but I am just so happy I am here. I am grateful that I lived in Europe for 22 years. But I am also very grateful that I decided to come here 3.5 years ago.

Yes, the city is a great, the city where I came from, but other than shopping, it is important to have a family. But it’s more of a settle down feeling. Versus Los Angeles, is all about making a career and I keep my balance. I live with my sister, so we make sure that we keep it real and have fun in life. I would love to have pajama party’s again, I guess just with my sister for now ;)